Whatever it is I was doing, I was doing it wrong. I was half organism wallowing in infinite ignorance and more often and like many of us, I found myself asking why me. So I started mining and when I dug deep for answers. If there is anything I found, oh dear! I started asking the question differently,” why not me.” You see, you can spend a lot of time stuck in your own head. And frankly things happen. And I was born into things happening, so what do I have to do with any of that anyway. And why should one be so concerned with stuff they can’t change. And if there are things that one can possibly change why should one be worried about such? Oh, if we really look!
One morning, I set out for fishing in the mountains. Strange as it sounds, I was looking for what holds the person human together. What makes us stronger. What drives us. What motivates us. I was looking for that electrifying substance. I wanted to discover and understand the thrill of being young, the novelty of being alive. And anything else I could hopefully catch with my fishing rod to filling my bucket of needs. I had grown less interested in the sideshows of the world anymore. Not even the remoteness of my memory or my failure to exist in the reality, if there was any such thing was going to stop the wheels of my boat from turning to my destination of discovery. And I was tone deaf in a soundproof room for mine self in the universe, for words that were in the likelihood of smoking my brains out. I used to think that it was a little insurmountable, to think as I actually did. But thoughts had played enough games for my self’s sake.
I wanted to be my own master, the bearer of the important decisions, the only decisions that were to be made. I was fed up with the arrogance of thoughts. Thoughts treated me as a passerby and explained things to me in terms that were irrelevant to the issue but served pretty awesome to confuse the whole idea. It was time to express my displeasure. And I joined a new, able and psychologically fresh, stronger and safer group. I quit associating myself with unnecessary thoughts, joyfully and willingly. The sort that crowded the much space needed for decent aspirations.
At the mountaintop, I could see pretty much everything in every direction. A ravine of tall trees on either side lurching towards one another in queer attitudes from the wind below. I could feel the breeze so cold and fresh. I looked around for greater and better understanding, it was as though I was shrouded in suspicious mystery. Down below, a valley separated the mountain I was, from the other side. And in the distance, a mass of small houses stood undisturbed and far beyond, the shimmering sea.
The sky was blue as far as the horizon; all nature wore an astounding aspect and the most profound silence prevailed; except for the warbling of the birds and the sound of the wind that, depending upon its speed that shifted time and again proliferated a variety of sounds, from the soft of the leaves, and the delicate notes of wind chimes to the “whoosh” and the loud whistle. And perhaps the most exciting and relaxing of sounds in existence they were. Everything else looked becalmed and quiet. I imagined things, I could see things and I could feel things from which, I found a bounty of insight and inspiration.
With every touch of the long grass, I felt but tenderness. I rolled my eyes from one side to another, there was that renewed interest and I scanned for more. I no longer felt invisible. And while I watched some birds fly in loose flocks, I saw two eagles fly in circles and I couldn’t help but curve the picture of the distinct behaviour of the migrating Canadian geese. The v-formation flight method and its distinct beauty. There was a smile, a touch to the gates of my heart. Something stirred in my blood, something had changed awakening my senses to the world. I wanted to close my eyes and just feel again and again to never-ending. I sat hunched on the edge of a rock and wondered if like me, they had a purpose and yes they had intendment. They were created and I was a creation too. Nothing can be done to oneself that one does not accept. I allowed myself to float, sink and swim in the wonders of the universe. It was one of the most intoxicating sensations.
I lay flat on the floor of the mountain, my back on my folded arms, tired from the climb and the small walks on the mountain. The mountainside sloped gently and high overhead the wind kept blowing in the tops of the mountain trees. And in the words of Napoleon Hill, I could remember, “The starting point of all achievement is desire.” To mine own thoughts, desire stirs the brain. Behold, how do we breed our desires then? Never forget though life is a precious fragile, we must, oh we have to, we ought to and so we should cultivate the beauty.